Well, the Holidays are here again and we know that can only mean one thing: overeating.
I will admit that I love food as much as anyone. I ate all the Scottish delicacies I could get my hands on this past week (remember the trip to Scotland? That is why I have not been blogging lately.) Well, the Scottish people love their meat and they love their custard and they love their shortbread and guess what? So do I.
And then of course tonight I went to the Melting Pot, a fondue restaurant where the food just keeps coming and you dip it in cheese and chocolate and other gooey goodness. Good for the taste buds, not so good for the waste line. I realize that Thanksgiving is coming in a couple days. Ahhhh! I need a plan of attack. Its time to break out the membership card.
That's right, I am proud to say that I am an official lifetime member of Weight Watchers. Should I be admitting that? (Well hey, we all have our hobbies). I will tell you from my very first meeting I thought it an extremely humorous experience. It is like this mini-cult gathering of people sitting around talking about eating food...or rather not eating food! The leader tells you you’re supposed to write down everything you eat each day. They chant things like
“Bite it, Write it.
Drink it, Ink it.
Snack it, Track it.
Nibble it, Scribble it.”
You know what I say to that?
“Chew it, Screw it”.
As you can see I’m not all that into the techniques, but I do think they’re fun to listen to. One week our leader was talking about BLTs. You know...Bites, Licks, & Tastes? (Yeah, I wish it had something to do with bacon too). She told us while we are cooking meals to spit everything we are sampling into a plastic baggie and bring our bags in the following week to show everyone.
“I just thought of that right now!” she said.
“Brilliant!” I thought.
And gross. The worst part is getting on that scale every month. At home you inevitably weigh 4 lbs. less than when you arrive. I remember one week thinking, “Hmm.... I wonder which limb I can afford to chop off?
Or maybe I could cut off all my hair? That could really help my weigh-in today”.
That’s when you know you’ve taken it too far.
And then there are all these incentives: ”Yay! You lost a pound...you get a star sticker. Yay! You lost 5 lbs...you get a bookmark. Yay! You reached your goal...you get a key chain!”
Meanwhile I’m thinking...
‘How 'bout instead you give me a burger?’ Or a brownie.
Everybody in the room claps for you when you lose weight, which is a nice feeling. But then inevitably somebody stands up proudly and says,
“I lost .2 this week!” And as everybody’s clapping, we’re really all thinking: “Yay! You made a pee-pee before you weighed in...good for you!”