Fixing the World
6 years ago
“If you find honey, eat just enough— too much of it, and you will vomit.” Proverbs 15:26
Well, October 31st is coming and we know how that translates in kid language: Candy Day!
I will admit as a child I had quite the sweet tooth (okay, not much has changed). Yup, I was the kid sitting in my room eating sugar straight from the bowl with a spoon. [Please don’t tell my mom, she still doesn’t know.]
By kindergarten I had five cavities. On one visit to the dentist I distinctly remember him telling me to open, “Wider! Wider! Wiiiider!”
At the tender age of five I looked up at him and said,
“What are ya gonna do...stick your foot in my mouth?”
At the tender age of five I looked up at him and said,
“What are ya gonna do...stick your foot in my mouth?”
Needless to say, he was not amused.
Candy consumed my life, I would have dreams every night of finding a magical land filled with all the candy I could eat. (Yes, ‘Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory’ was my favorite movie as twisted as it is). In my dreams at night I would be holding whole armfuls of candy...only to wake up and be empty handed. It was always so disappointing!
At that young age candy was the only currency I had. We had this thing called Super Saturday at church which probably should have been called ‘The Great Candy Feast’ because it was a kid's dream come true. My sister and I would come home every year to sort, separate, and prioritize our candy for saving and trading. I was quite the little dealer. Sometimes let’s just say I would get slightly carried away. When I was taking dance lessons in first grade I would sneak out to the market in between my lessons to buy a secret stash of candy (again, don’t tell mom :)
One day after school in fifth grade I was caught stealing a twizzler from my teacher’s desk by a fellow classmate. He walked in the room and caught me red handed (ha, ha...get it, because twizzlers are red?) Well, apparently he was quite the opportunist even at that young age. He blackmailed me for over a week, making me do all his math homework until one day I broke down crying and told the teacher the whole story. The funny thing is I got off the hook, but the blackmailer got it bad. Apparently stealing rates lower than blackmail in the teacher’s handbook. Lucky for me.
Candy consumed my life, I would have dreams every night of finding a magical land filled with all the candy I could eat. (Yes, ‘Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory’ was my favorite movie as twisted as it is). In my dreams at night I would be holding whole armfuls of candy...only to wake up and be empty handed. It was always so disappointing!
At that young age candy was the only currency I had. We had this thing called Super Saturday at church which probably should have been called ‘The Great Candy Feast’ because it was a kid's dream come true. My sister and I would come home every year to sort, separate, and prioritize our candy for saving and trading. I was quite the little dealer. Sometimes let’s just say I would get slightly carried away. When I was taking dance lessons in first grade I would sneak out to the market in between my lessons to buy a secret stash of candy (again, don’t tell mom :)
One day after school in fifth grade I was caught stealing a twizzler from my teacher’s desk by a fellow classmate. He walked in the room and caught me red handed (ha, ha...get it, because twizzlers are red?) Well, apparently he was quite the opportunist even at that young age. He blackmailed me for over a week, making me do all his math homework until one day I broke down crying and told the teacher the whole story. The funny thing is I got off the hook, but the blackmailer got it bad. Apparently stealing rates lower than blackmail in the teacher’s handbook. Lucky for me.
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