It's funny, despite all the crazy things that happen in my life I know that God is right there watching over me through it all. Today was one of those Mondays when you're just minding your own business, trying to get things done when suddenly someone takes a wrench and throws it into the gears. I was driving to work this morning and halfway there my car decided to become demon possessed...the check engine light came on, the tachometer needle started jumping all around, and the car basically froze up while I was cruising down the road. I couldn't even turn the steering wheel!
I forced it to the side of the road so I could call AAA. They told me my yearly membership would get me 3 whole miles of free towing. It was my lucky day! The car repair shop charged me $60 just to tell me they couldn't fix it. They said it was a problem with the car's internal computer and I'd have to take it to a Toyota dealership. The friendly mechanic decided to park my car in a big puddle so when I tried to get into the car I had to wade through a foot of muddy rain water. When I got home I couldn't find my keys anywhere...apparently I had dropped them in the puddle while trying to fling myself into the car. So I had to go back and pick up my muddy wet keys. When I called the Toyota dealership I was told with all the recalls they were super busy and would try to fit me in sometime next week. This also ruined my weekend road trip plans to visit friends in Pennsylvania :(
Overall it wasn't the best day, as you can see, but I am thankful I am safe when things could have been much worse.. had I been driving on the highway or something. I know even when things don't seem to go my way God is still sovereign and keeping His watch over each one of his children. His guardian angels are on duty 24/7.
And that beats AAA any day.

I don't have much to say today but, after all, a picture is worth a thousand words. And I think I've got a thousand faces!


If your face mirrors your heart, what do you suppose my heart is saying?

Anyone's that's ever traveled with me has learned the equation: Elaina + travel= disaster. If something can go wrong, it will. It's just a matter of discovering all the ways it can!
I will never forget the very first time I flew by myself. I was traveling from New Hampshire to Virginia Beach to be a bridesmaid in my best friend's wedding. I had been preparing for months, I wanted everything to be perfect. I was somewhat nervous flying for the first time by myself... I just prayed that everything would go smoothly. I mean, really, what could go wrong? It was a quick flight with a short layover in Washington D.C. and the weather was great.
The flight from Manchester to Reagan went pretty smoothly; I thought, "Hey, this isn't so bad after all!" I flew into D.C. around noon and the flight to Virginia Beach was supposed to take off an hour later, around 1:30 pm. As I found my gate I settled in and started to read my book. I glanced up at the boarding sign and noticed it said the plane was boarding at 8 pm.
"Well, that's strange", I thought. "I must have the wrong gate".
I went up to the attendant at the counter and asked about the flight. She stared at the board and stared back at me and then stared back at the board, "Well, that is rather odd. I hadn't even noticed that. This flight is supposed to leave in an hour". She told me it must be some mistake and they would work it out.
I went back to my seat, a little more skeptical and nervous than I had left it.
By the time our flight was supposed to depart I had still received no answer from the airline.
Sometime mid-afternoon they told us in fact they did not have an airplane for us. Apparently they were going to re-route one from Chicago and hopefully we would be on it by 9 pm.
WHAT?
Did they know that Virginia Beach is only a 2 hr drive away by rental car?
I ended up sitting there all day in the airport instead of on the beach. After all, I had paid top dollar for my plane ticket and I intended to get my airplane ride!
Somewhere roundabout 10 pm they told that the plane they got for us was having technical problems (of course) and instead they were going to stick us on a bus to Virginia. So at 1 am we boarded a bus with a very chipper old man bus driver who insisted on thanking us for 'choosing T&S bus line'.
"Hey Mr, I didn't choose any of this!", I was thinking.
Thankfully the guy sitting next to me on the bus was a nice Christian young man who was being very flirtatious with me. I thought, 'You never know, maybe this will all have a good outcome after all!!"
That is, until he asked me if I wanted to hold his baby. I turned in surprise as he handed me his child and received the death glare from his little wife across the aisle whom I hadn't noticed until that moment. Awkward.
We arrived at our terminal around 4 or 5 in the morning-- and to make a long story even longer-- the bus ride didn't end well either. They made us wait around a few more hours. To top it off they told us all they had lost all of our luggage and naturally my bridesmaid's dress was in my checked baggage. (Hey, blame it the naivety of a first-time traveler).
In the end everything turned out okay and the airline gave me a $10 meal voucher, which of course totally made up for it :)

"Most travel is best of all in the anticipation or the remembering; the reality has more to do with losing your luggage".
Regina Nadelson

Being a children's pastor I have noticed how often we lie to kids during Bible story time. Oh sure, we don't look at it that way--- we just want to create a happy, safe environment for the kiddies. But the God of the Bible wasn't always safe. Jesus wasn't a stuffed animal surrounded by fuzzy lambs and cartoon suns. In fact Jesus tended to shake things up, step on toes, get in people's faces. The God of the Old Testament used to call down plagues that killed thousands of people in a single day. But it is funny how we only want to give the 'fun' stories like Noah's Ark or Jonah & the Whale. Even the way we tell it is not accurate.
"Well, there was this nice old, grandpa man that built a great big boat and he saved all the cute animals from the rain and when it was all over their was a great big rainbow. Isn't that fun?"
Of course you wouldn't mention the screaming, drowning people outside the boat or the horrific sanitation problems Noah would have had with so many animals on a boat for a few months. Peee-U!
What about the story when Noah builds a vineyard and gets so drunk on wine that he passes out naked in his tent and his kids walk in on him? Yeah, I don't think that one made the curriculum cut.
Yesterday I read a Bible story to some kids about Abraham & Sarah. It ended with "And they named their son Isaac, which means 'laughter' because they were so happy to have a baby!" The End.
Umm, excuse me? What about the part when Sarah lied to God about laughing? She didn't have the faith to believe that even God could give her a baby in her old age and when the angel of the Lord asked why she was laughing she was like, "
"Laughing? Who me? I don't know what you're talking about. I didn't hear any laughing".
and the angel was like, "Uh, yes you did. I was standing right here. I heard you myself with my perfect angel ears!"
Now with a generation raised on Veggietales there is quite a bit of confusion about the reality of stories. I will try to reference something from the Bible like the Battle of Jericho, for instance, and some kid will say, "Oh, I already know that part. Thats when they tried to defend their city with slushies."
Huh?
"Oh you know... the little french peas?"
No, no I do not.
What I do know is that Bob the Tomato should have never have made the cast of Veggietales in the first place since tomatoes are technically a fruit :)
After all, Jesus said it would be better to have a millstone tied around your neck & thrown into the sea than to mislead these little ones!

I think the best way to find out important information about your close friends is to read about in on facebook. Isn't that the best? You're having your first child? Great, I'd love to see a picture of the stick that you peed on. Oh, you got engaged today? Perfect! Don't bother calling me, save the text charge...I already read about it on facebook. Going to Bible college it was by no means a rare occasion for someone to get engaged on a daily basis. The promise was, "A ring by spring or your money back!" after all. (Don't believe it, though, I never did see a dime of tuition reimbursed). There were some interesting proposals at least. I remember a girl I sat next to in class wearing a diamond one day. I said to her, "Huh... did you have that ring on yesterday?"
"Oh, no. I got engaged last night at the mall, in the Thomas Kinkade gallery!"
Oh... huh. Not where I would have picked but, "Congratulations!!!"
One time another girl that had just moved on my hall sat down for a heart-to-heart talk with me and asked, "Whats the deal with everyone at this school getting engaged? Aren't we hear to learn more about God?"
I said, "Finally... someone who understands!"
Literally three weeks later she came to me all excited and said, "Guess what? I just got engaged! He proposed in aisle 12 at K-Mart. Isnt' that sweet??"
Yeah, probably not the first word that comes to mind.
Thankfully now we don't even need to have these interactions-- thanks to the big FB we can just see someone's status change from 'single' to 'in a relationship' to 'engaged', maybe all in the same week if its true love :)
Dating at a christian college was quite an experience. I think God got blamed for a lot of stuff that He probably had nothing to do with. For example:
"Listen, Joe, I really really want to keep dating you but God told me to break up with you. Sorry. If you have a problem you'll have to take it up with the creator of the universe."
or "You want to go out with me on Friday night? I would go on a date with you right you but right now I am dating Jesus."
and my personal favorite, "You seem like a really nice girl, but I actually just recently kissed dating goodbye."
I think if I could do it all over again I would have kissed a little more in general and kissed dating goodbye a little less. What did Joshua Harris know? He got married less than a year after he wrote that book.
Poor guy, suffering all that time for Jesus.
One time when I was trying to break up with a guy he actually said, "What? But God told me you were the One! I guess I don't believe in God anymore."
Wow, now I've heard it all.
So, what are some crazy dating/engagement stories you have? I would love to hear them!

When I was young I think I got into just as many predicaments as I do now. Junior High was a particularly awkward time, as it is for many, but for me that seemed to be amplified. Certain things didn't help, like going to a school that requires uniforms. This just prevented me from developing any fashion sense whatsoever. So then when I did have to pick something out to wear, I was lost. I remember picking one of my dad's flannel shirts off of his closet floor for 'uniform free Friday'. The shirt was baggy, practically came down to my knees, was not flattering or even washed for that matter. I figured I was cool because I had seen my friends wear flannel before. Until I got to school and one of my friends looked at me and said, "What are you wearing?? Grunge is so last year!"
Huh, news to me.
It also didn't help that I was extremely sheltered from any form of pop culture at the time. The hippest thing I knew was 'Carman'. One time I remember we were having a cd burning party at youth group to 'rid ourselves of all worldly influences & secular music'. I distinctly remember this girl coming up to me and teasing me by saying, "Oh yeah, Elaina... Like you have any music to burn. Right".
To which I replied in all sincerity, "Hey, I happen to have some Amy Grant I'm getting rid of. She crossed over, ya know!"
I wish I were joking. This pretty much sums up my developmental years.
The summer of 8th grade I vividly remember a weekend where all of my awkwardness seemed to be particularly apparent. My best friend's family owned a trailer in NH where they would vacation in the summers. That weekend they took me and several of my classmates with them and it was supposed to be a really good time. It didn't start well though...on the 3 hour car ride to NH I threw up all over the van and in front of my friends and of course the guy I had a crush on. To make matters worse I got sick on my best friend's favorite Garfield pillow she'd had for years and when we got to the camp ground we tried to wash it and all the stuffing came out. She was not happy with me.
The next day we decided to take some inner tubes and float down the river with some new snorkles and masks that her parents had just bought. After a while in the river I noticed that I had dropped my snorkle and mask somewhere in the water while floating. I was so nervous because I knew they were not going to be happy and I was already not being a very good guest by puking all over their car. We were gone so long looking for the lost items in the river that her parents called the police and sent out a search party for us. So not only did I get my friends in trouble, but then I had to tell them I had lost their new cool stuff. They made me pay for it. Double awkward.
The next day we went tubing in Lake Winnipesaukee on their friend's brand new boat. It was their prized possession and warned us about taking extra good care of it. All of sudden we heard the dad screaming,
"UH!!! Which one of you has buckles on your sandals? You tore our brand new leather seats!"
Everyone started panicking, looking from foot to foot. Naturally, everybody's eyes fell on my feet...the only buckled pair of sandals.
Which of course, I had just borrowed from my friend for the afternoon.
But believe me, it gets better. A couple hours later we were all swimming in the water with the boat stopped. My friend was on the tube and the boat was getting ready to take her tubing around the lake. All of a sudden she yelled, "Elaina, come help me! I'm getting too close to the motor, can you pull me away? Hurry!" I swam over and grabbed the rope to pull her to safety when all of a sudden the boat took off. Apparently no one gave the 'all clear' before they decided to go. The rope got wrapped around my arm and before I knew it I was a human water ski. I was being pulled under water only to resurface every few seconds to yell with my mouth full of water, "Dwop da boa..." and then I was back under water. "Pweez, mumbuddy bwelp!" Just when I thought I was about to drown, someone must have heard my garbled cries because they did stop the boat and I was pulled to safety. I got a nice black ropeburn around my arm though that lasted for months.
Needless to say, the weekend pretty much went on like that the rest of the time. Skinning my knees, spilling things, breaking valuables, drawing attention to myself. You get the idea.
Thank goodness I don't do silly things like that anymore!
Right?

I often get easily distracted when I am driving. I try to pay attention as best I can but sometimes I tend to daydream...especially on longer trips like the one I took tonight to meet up with some BFFs in New Hampshire. I feel that there should be a warning label on the Colbie Caillat cd I have that says:

I was just driving along, singing at the top of my lungs and minding my own business when all of a sudden I was snapped out of my song-trance by a state trooper flagging me down.
Huh. Maybe he liked my singing and wanted to hear more?
Apparently I was going a wee bit fast in my trance-like state. By the time I could hit the brakes, the cop was roughly a mile behind me and all I could see was this tiny speck waving for me to back up. It was reminiscent of my high school driving exam, having to drive backwards on the highway with a state trooper watching. I knew the first sign of swerving would get me a breathalyzer!
The trooper was very nice though. I was kind of proud of myself, I didn't even feel the need to work up any tears! He asked me if I knew why I was pulled over.
"I do declare officer, I haven't the faintest idea!" I said with my best Scarlett O'Hara/Gone With the Wind voice.
"Miss, how many years have you been driving?"
Oh great, so now he wants me to do math?
I just kind of smiled at him while I tried to do subtraction in my head.
"Over 13 years, sir".
"And what is your driving record like? Do you have any tickets?"
Well, that's a loaded question. My driving history flashed before my eyes as I tried to answer him without giving too much away. It all depended on how many states he could see in his report :)
"My driving record should be pretty good, sir. Not really any tickets that I can recall right now".
Things got suddenly very fuzzy, I panicked on the witness stand.
"If its as you say, I'll let you off with a warning. Otherwise, I'm writing you a $200 ticket".
Wow, no pressure or anything.
He went back to his cruiser and was gone for what felt like eternity. He came back to the window with an envelope that said, 'Citation processing center'.
Ooh, this is not looking good.
Then he asked me something I was not expecting at all...
"Miss, do you have any tattoos?"
Excuse me?
"Uh...no, sir".
"And where were you born?"
Suddenly I felt like I really was on the witness stand.
"Miss Rogers, there is a warrant out for the arrest of someone matching your exact description".
Of course there is.
"But she is from Kentucky and since you don't seem to have an accent I'm going to let you go today with just a warning".
Wow, I'm sure glad I didn't keep pressing the Gone with the Wind/ southern belle theme.
"You did have a ticket from Greenfield 4 years ago, by the way."
Ohh, right. That ticket, I didn't know you meant that one, officer. I do declare!
Anyways, you know its been an interesting day when you are mistaken for a wanted criminal.

I will say the randomest things always happen to me (as you probably have noticed) and I'm really glad I didn't get the $200 ticket, but after telling me to slow down the officer told me that someone had died in a fatal accident today right where I was driving. As I drove away I prayed for the family of the victim and thanked God that it wasn't me who had been in an accident. It got me to thinking about how many times we receive 'warnings' along the road of life. Red flags about destructive patterns... bad choices... bad habits that God tries to show us in his Word will only bring death. So often we still want do our own thing because we are so 'distracted' by the things of this world. Sometimes even in a trance-like state we just go through our days as if we are on autopilot, not even realizing the danger we are causing others or ourselves. If you are going through life recklessly and God is trying to give you a warning today, please listen to his voice.
Believe me, it's much better than the alternative!

"And they will know that I am God and that my warnings must be taken seriously." ~Ezekiel 6:10

I can't say I've ever been a big fan of going to the dentist. As a kid I remember my mom always coming away from her cleanings saying, “Oh, that was so relaxing...I could just lie in that chair all day”.
Huh? Were we in the same place? I think I could compare it more to ancient Chinese torture.
I have soft teeth to begin with, so the fillings I’ve had are probably more than the number of teeth in my mouth. But my hygienist always acts like I’m by far the worst patient she’s ever seen.
“Oh wow, your gum line is way more receded than we would like to see in someone of your age. Are you brushing in a circular motion or just scrubbing your teeth as hard as you can?”
Hmmm, that is a good question.
Let’s see, I floss every single day, brush at least 2 times a day, and I also use an 'Orabrush', which brushes away bacteria on your tongue. I’d say overall I’m ahead of the dental hygiene curve. My dad bought me a ‘Water Pick’ for Christmas which is like a high powered car wash for your mouth. You even have 8 different heads to choose from, depending on what mood you are in that day. The only problem is that you have to hold down the little button on the handle and if you release it water shoots out at 100 miles per hour. It takes a little getting used to. When I opened it at Christmas I remember my mom warning me, “Now be careful with that thing, honey, you don’ want to get water everywhere!”
I said, “Gee, ma, I think I can handle it”. How old does she think I am?
The first time I used it I did very well, because I was actually paying attention. "Piece a cake!"
Subsequently when using it I have missed my mouth entirely and instead turned it into a power washer for my bathroom. It is a frequent sight to see water dripping from my ceiling or running down the mirror or side of my cabinets. Its like an "I love Lucy" episode.
It gives you the option of filling the tank with mouth wash, but I think I’ll stick with water until I get the hang of it. Sounds like I’d have sticky bathroom walls.
I’m pretty convinced that modern dentistry is mostly a money making scheme. When I was a kid they told me I needed braces. I told my parents, “No, but thank you for asking”. So I didn’t have them done and my teeth turned out great.
Finding a dentist you trust is like finding a good mechanic. I went to my parent’s dentist in Vermont one time and he took a look at my teeth and said, “Everything looks good...maybe stop back for another cleaning in a few years”.
Now that’s what I like to hear!
I believe he was also an expert in linguistics...he was talking to me the whole time he was working on my mouth. The conversation went something like this:
Dentist: So you live in Worcester, what’s your favorite ice cream place down there?”
Me: wuh i moblygo dew ablace gauld bweoldblahs
Dentist: Oh, Meolas? I love that place. Whats your favorite flavor?
Me: i dwike auldibbrint gindz bud bwodly berble gow.
Dentist: Ah yes, Purple cow is one their best.
He was such a nice old man. Now at my new dentist they tell me that my 6 month cleanings are not cutting it because I am so bad. They need to bump me up to every 3 months. See, like I say, money making scheme.
Okay, so it doesn’t help that I am a candyholic. Right now on my nightstand I have a box of Everlasting Gobstoppers and a box of Bazooka Bubble Gum (the kind with the lame comics). I realize this is not normal behavior for a grown adult, but what can I say? My parents put them in my birthday package. Its not my fault if they somehow got into my mouth.

Well, since our verse today talks about biting and teeth and I am talking a lot about dentists I will leave you with a couple youtube videos; they are remixes of 2 famous videos I posted a while ago, “Charlie Bit Me” and “David After Dentist”. It is a bizarre world we live in when not only do these home videos become famous but then people turn them into hit songs. Enjoy!

Anywhere you go you can hear a mom saying it,
"What do you say?"
Only to hear begrudgingly,
"PuhLEEASE can I have some now?"
Early on you are supposed to learn to 'mind your p's and q's'. I am afraid manners are a lost art form these days. When I was a kid my mom made me sit down every time I had a birthday and write out thank you notes. To be polite.
The only reason I listened to her is because I started to realize I got more stuff the next time if I sent a thank you note. Misguided motivations but I guess I learned it!
Often when giving out presents to the kids I work with I will see if any of the kids say thank you.
Usually they don't. I guess you can't blame them...maybe they've never been taught.
At Christmastime we handed out 100 presents at a local community center. After all the kids had left and we were cleaning up one little kid ran back in the doors and came up to hug me and say 'Thank you'. It was a touching moment.
It reminded me a little bit of the story in the Bible when only one leper came back to thank Jesus for healing them. (Okay, so it wasn't quite on the same level but you get the point).
When I was in 5th grade we had a teacher who actually taught us manners as a subject. She was very, very old and we thought we were so cool and didn't need manners. She thought we were all a bunch of whippersnappers and hooligans (her words, not mine). One day she read a story about two boys, named Tom and Dick. Tom had very good manners and always said polite things. Dick was a very bad little boy and never minded his manners. Suddenly she announced to us, "You know boys and girls, there sure are a lot of Dicks in this class!"
For some reason there was quite a bit of snickering at that point. I never did figure it out. :)
Working with kids myself now I know how hard it is to get kids to behave. I find myself constantly saying, "Stop running!", "Use your inside voice!", "Keep your hands to yourself!"
All things I swore I would never say when I 'grew up'.
I will leave you today with a quick poem I wrote.
Don't worry, I don't expect a 'thank you.'

Manners

"Wash your hands. Wipes your nose.
Mind your p's and 's!"
How can I remember all the don'ts
From all the do's?

"Take your elbows off the table!
Don't slouch in your chair.
Do not stick your bubblegum
In to your sister's hair!"

"Use your tissue, not your sweater
Give your mom a kiss.
Never mix up 'Mr'
With a 'Mrs' or a 'Miss'."

"Always say 'You're Welcome'
Never, ever roll your eyes
Never ask a lady what's her age
Or what's her size."

"Don't play with your vegetables
And don't run in the hall
And please don't stick your boogers
On my newly painted wall!"

"Always use your inside voice
Never ever shout..."

I guess I"ll just forget
What being a kid is all about!

Well, it's good that today is a Proverb-free Friday... I'm not sure how many 'birthday proverbs' there are :) So far it has been a great day, I have been reflecting on birthdays of the past and trying to remember what I was doing on each year for my birthday.
For the most part I have had really good B-days (just a couple not-so-good ones). My parents threw us some pretty extravagant parties as children. If you want to convince your child that they are the center of the universe, treat them like it on their birthday. I admit I have an over-developed sense of entitlement...somehow I have come to believe that people have to actually do what I want all day on January 22nd. (Don't know where I got that idea from, mom :) I guess its time to come clean. My name is Elaina Rogers, and I am a birthday diva. (As you can see by the birthday tiara, compliments of a certain BFF from Virginia).
My mom was throwing us princess parties before there was any such thing as the 'Disney Princess' line. We acted out the whole story of Sleeping Beauty at my party when I was 5. There was also the 'Somewhere over the Rainbow' party where we were transported by trampoline into a magical land filled with hidden candies and treats (aka, the other side of the living room). The best birthday tradition was that we got to pick whatever sugary cereal we wanted (which was off-limits for the most part the rest of the year), served to us as breakfast-in-bed. I seem to remember picking Fruity Pebbles every year...I'm actually surprised that the FDA hasn't done away with that cereal yet. There's just something 'not right' about the thick layer of coating it leaves on your tongue and teeth after eating. But it is still just as awesome now as it was back then. Some friends who know of my deep love for cereal walked in my office today with a year-supply for my birthday (see picture above). That was like a childhood dream fulfilled.
My birthday parties growing up were different every year...pool parties, sleepovers, bowling parties...you name it. But there was definitely a consistent theme---and that was PIÑATAS.
I have always been a big fan of the piñata, basically for the sole reason that there were large amounts of candy involved. Me and my dad used to make them home-made...one time we made a piñata cat named Franswa. In hindsight, I would not recommend naming a piñata when creating it at home, the act simply creates an unrealistic attachment which is then somewhat broken when your little friends beat it to a pulp.
The best part of birthdays are, of course, the cake. As I posted earlier on my facebook, "Birthdays are nature's way of reminding us to eat more cake". My best friend growing up always had red velvet cake at her birthday parties which I am now addicted to. Also icecream cake, with the tastiest part obviously being the chocolate crunchies. It is no wonder I was a chubby kid!
I will leave you with a little birthday poem I wrote:

Birthday party--celebration!
What a joyous thing.
They'll be presents
They'll be music
We will dance and sing

I think I got an invitation
Somehow by mistake
I may not know the birthday girl
But I sure love her cake!

P.S. Thank you all for your thoughts and birthday wishes. Please pray for me as everyday of this year just inches me closer to 30!

Louie Giglio preaches a sermon where he talks about how inconcievable BIG our God is: How He spoke the universe into being, how He breathes stars out of His mouth that are huge raging balls of fire, etc. Then he goes on to speak of how this star-breathing, universe creating God ALSO knitted our human bodies together with amazing detail and wonder. He talks about how we can trust that the God who created all this, also has the power to hold it all together when things seem to be falling apart...how our loving Creator is also our sustainer.
And then he talks about this thing called Laminins. Here is how wikipedia describes them: 'Laminins are a family of proteins that are an integral part of the structural scaffolding of basement membranes in almost every animal tissue.' You see....laminins are what hold us together..literally. They are cell adhesion molecules. They are what holds one cell of our bodies to the next cell.. Without them, we would literally fall apart.
Here is what the structure of laminin looks like [and this is not a 'Christian portrayal' of it....if you look up laminin in any scientific/medical piece of literature, this is what you will see]

The glue that holds all of us together is in the shape of the cross.

For by him all things were created; things in heaven and on earth , visible and invisible,whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by him and for him.

He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. Colossians 1:15-17.

Its always the times that you care the most about making a good impression that you find yourself falling flat on your face. Especially when trying to make a good impression with the opposite sex. I can't tell you how many stupid things I have done when I get nervous.
One time in college I was walking down the hallway with a guy that I was very into at the time; his opinion of me was always at the forefront of my attention if you know what I mean. As we were walking we came to a doorway and I grabbed the handle to open the door for us. I struggled, pulling on the doorknob for a while, only to realize suddenly that it was indeed a push door. Not intended for pulling. I was so mortified in anticipation of him mocking my stupidity that I turned around and did the first thing that popped into my head---
I slapped him across the face.
Naturally... isn't that what you would have done?
No? Yeah, well the poor boy hadn't even muttered two words or had the time to make fun of me but apparently I was such a wreck under the pressure of his opinion that I succeeded in convincing him of my absolute lunacy.
Come to find out later that he had a huge issue with people slapping him. Who knew?
That didn't last long.
Another time when I was living in Philadelphia a friend of mine had me take his pilot buddy out for a night on the town. Here is an excerpt taken from my journal:

"May 15, 2005:
Last night Jon called me to tell me his buddy Matt was in Philly and bored out of his mind. So I called Matt up and told him I'd pick him up from his hotel. I thought 'No big deal, right?' That is, until he got in the car and I saw he was drop dead gorgeous.
Uh oh.
I froze like a deer in headlights. I forgot how to speak and whats worse, how to drive.
I was never that good to begin with.
First, I pulled out of the hotel onto a one-way street, going the WRONG WAY into oncoming headlights. I started screaming and he grabbed the wheel and jerked us over the median.
'Great, I've known this guy for 30 seconds and already put his life in serious danger'.
Not a great start, I'd say.
Then less than a minute later I was trying to redeem myself by creating some distracting conversation so he would forget about the 'incident' when !BAM! I blew through a stop sign and almost killed him again.
(He smelled really good, did I mention that?)
Needless to say the rest of the night did not go any better. The movie was a bomb too.
In the middle of the movie there was a scene where the girl is holding flowers. I turn to him and say, "Oh, those are my absolute favorite flowers in the whole wide world!"
He says, "Really? What are they called?"
"Uh...hmm. Good question. I think it starts with an 'A'?"
Wow, genius.
Driving home I took 95 north instead of 95 south, managed to get us lost, and to top it off at the end of the night he started talking about his girlfriend.
What? You mean to tell me I just made a complete fool out of myself...for nothing!?"

The worst is when it is so obvious that you are nervous because you are tripping all over your words. There's no hiding that.
Like the time I declared, "Well, you know what they say: It's all down there from hill!"
Recently I was out on a date when the guy I was with asked if I owned or rented my place. A fairly simple question to answer, right?
My answer went something like this:
"Uh, we own it. Actually, rent it. No...my roommate owns it. Not 'we'. I don't know why I said that. She owns it, I rent it to her. Well, no...I mean for her. Actually from her... I rent the room from her. The house is hers and I pay her money to live there".

Do you see how difficult this is?

This verse seems like common sense but lately I have realized how easy it is to assume things...and we all know what assuming does!
These days its really hard to tell when people are crazy because you never know if they are just talking loudly to themselves or perhaps they have a bluetooth in their ear you can't see. In the good old days, you could just assume they were crazy.
The other day I was listening to music on my ipod as I walked into the church office. I shut the door behind me and a few seconds later one of the ladies from our church came in behind me. I took the headphones out of my ears to say hello to her. She turned around, saw my ipod, and said, "Oh, thank goodness. I had assumed you were being rude when I tried talking to you earlier and you didn't answer. I even yelled for you to keep the door open and you just shut it behind you". In this case, I was on the receiving end of conclusion jumping, and I'm glad I cleared up that misunderstanding. It would be terrible for someone out there to be thinking that I was snobby. Is it too late to 'pologize? :)
You just never know what the reason is for people doing what they do. For example, I have been honked at before because I was driving too slow when transporting food that I didn't want sloshing around in my car. Now when some grandma is driving like a snail in front of me, I just assume she must have a crockpot of stew in the back seat.
It is very freeing to think of all the 'perfectly good explanations for what you just saw'. There is always two sides to the story. Like that cashier that was less than friendly to you at the checkout counter...maybe rather than assuming they should get an attitude adjustment you could ask how they are doing. You might just find out that their medical test came back positive today, or their boyfriend just broke up with them, or their favorite cat just died.
Maybe instead of assuming, we can be just a little more understanding.
So, remember to keep an open mind and whatever you do...don't jump to conclusions without a bungee cord!

You don't realize how much food you eat until you suddenly try to start eating less. I never noticed how many snacks I graze on throughout the work day until this afternoon.
I started a new years weight loss contest with some friends this week- its girls against guys so I have to represent! We have been going to the gym together which is good for the accountability. But today at work today I noticed that every half hour or so I would think "Hmm, now would be a really good time for a cookie break." And my competitive spirit said, "No way Jose!". A few minutes later, "Hmm, I could really go for a hot chocolate with marhsmallows right now". And I heard a voice say "Step away!". Then of course working in a children's ministry office there is quite a bit of candy everywhere. So after lunch I think, "Hmmm, I could go for a bite size candy bar for a little something sweet." and then I hear, "Don't even think about it!" Diets are always more fun to think about until you actually start them. I think that our eating habits are usally directly connected to our spirit and obviously our emotions. It is another way of convincing ourselves something else [besides God] will satisfy. When we are bored, or lonely, or worried somehow we think eating will make it all better.
It doesn't.
Nothing else does either...shopping, relationships, techy gadgets. They all lose their luster and then what are you left with?
If you are hungry today and feel like you are never satisfied, just remember Jesus said,
"I have come that they may have life and have it to the full". John 10:10

Happy New Year everyone! I am very excited for what this year and what this decade will hold. This is my theme verse:"Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each day. I say to myself, "The LORD is my inheritance; therefore, I will hope in him!" ~Lamentations 3:24.
[A very positive verse for a book like Lamentations, if I do say so myself.] I am believing God for great things in your life and in mine in this new decade...both fruitfulness and fulfillment in our lives. As Psalm 90:17 says "And may the Lord our God show us his approval and make our efforts successful. Yes, make our efforts successful!" Many times we are striving in our own will, but I pray that God would line up our desires with His. Otherwise its all pointless. I have been thinking over the past decade of my life and I have had some wonderful opportunities that I am very grateful for.

Here is a chronological list I made to try to remind myself:
2000: Was enrolled as a music major at Valley Forge Christian College; was part of the Philadelphia Homeless Ministry; was in college choir, took voice lessons & piano lessons; worked at Morningstar Christian bookstore; made it on Valley Forge's drama team, 3D; asked to be team leader; became the school's music dept. secretary;
2001:Served as a life group leader; became a children's ministry major, played piano on campus worship teams; traveled the summer with 3D (did youth conventions, churches, and camps; did a children's ministry internship; made it on the deans list; took tap dancing lessons
2002: Took a semester away from school; waitressed; did correspondence courses & went to community college; was asked to return to 3D (even though I didnt attend Valley Forge at the time); had another amazing summer doing more conventions, churches, and camps; returned to VFCC; was in the college band; became a children's ministry leader; took up scrapbooking
2003: Graduated from Valley Forge summa cum laude; took a job on the program team at camp Berea, had the most amazing summer of my life; took a job at a church in Philadelphia as an asst. childrens pastor; took swing dancing lessons; became a preschool & elementary music teacher, became a leader on a kids puppet team; was the maid of honor in my sister's wedding
2004: Joined the worship team for the college & career group; had jobs as assistant to the youth pastor, executive pastor, music pastor, and senior pastor (all at different times); returned to Camp Berea for another fun summer as camp counselor & program team; was in my friends Amanda & Amy's weddings; became chapel director at a christian school; took more dance lessons
2005:Became a Jr. Bible Quiz leader; directed several kids musicals; moved back to New England; took a job as a nanny; became a music & drama teacher; took cake decorating lessons; took acting lessons; worked at Deep Freeze youth retreats all winter; saw my first broadway musical-got hooked; took a trip to Willow Creek in Chicago; went to Florida for my friend's wedding
2006: Took more baking lessons; more tap dance lessons; more acting lessons; took up quilting; was in the musical 'Big River'; took roadtrips to DC, Nashville, and Pittsburgh; decided to return to Camp Berea for the summer; became office secretary for a while; moved to Vermont, took a job as a saleswoman in a clothing store; took a trip to Spain and France to visit my friend Lydia
2007: Moved to Gardner, MA; took a job as a kindergarten teacher, was in the 'Sound of Music', took hip hop dance lessons; was in the musical 'Pirates of Penzance'; directed my kindergarten class in 'The Wizard of Oz'; applied to teach music in Honduras; took a job instead as a children's pastor; took a road trip to NYC, Philly, D.C, and Virginia Beach; moved to Worcester, MA; planned a reunion for FACA (my elementary & high school which closed)
2008:Took up Jazzercise; moved to a new apartment; took a missions trip to Northern Ireland; was the maid of honor in my friend Shauna's wedding; took a trip to Nashville & Florida; took Italian language lessons
2009: Took a trip to California; started a new ministry at a local community center; took trips to PA, DC, VA, and GA; did my 2nd Vacation Bible School and Harvest Parties; went backpacking to Holland, Italy, and Greece; went skydiving for the first time; took a spontaneous trip to Scotland to visit a famous bagpiper.

This is enough to make anyone's head spin; I just feel blessed to be given such a full life!
Here is a picture of me at the beginning and end of the decade. Happy New Years to you and yours :)